Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless. (Ecclesiastes 5:10)
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(I will skip the sacrifices for a while. This was long overdue. Don’t know if I’ll see you here again
I just have no chance but to let my guard down It seems you are headed to a bright start Please remember to look your name at the sighting of the starts You’re going away to a higher place You’re leaving us to follow your dreams Don’t worry about us, we’ll be okay We’ll keep moving on our ways You’re going away to a higher place You’re leaving us to move this planet up Don’t worry about me, I’m safe in this life I’m filled with sorrow, it’ll turn to dance I remember when I came to the land of the free Thought that no one would’ve known my name But God knows that I needed some support You will leave, don’t’ worry, I’ll find some like minds My heart is wounded I’ll help you pack your bags My heart is wounded God bless you in this life Once and once again, I face the clock. The clock is ticking backwards, and the pendulum’s swinging again. It doesn’t look to bow in favors; left or right, no front or back. I wish I could control the motion! But the battery’s not there: it’s not where it’s supposed to be. What’s making that stupid clock move, anyway? Has it taken a life of its own? I don’t think so; it looks to be the most plausible answer. But it’s moving, and nothing’s starting it NOR stopping it. I don’t understand how it’s working! I can’t doubt, but it’s no choice: God is behind this. If I feel a final countdown incoming, it is now. (Cue Europe’s song! And those 80’s hard-rock fans, hehe!) Once again, I am amazed at how time passes by. It’s not how I want it, though; once and once again, it’s how God wants it to be. It’s how His mercy works: by unveiling Himself in the most awkward and unexpected of ways. It’s how love goes around: by revealing the truth of our ways, and nursing us back to health. It’s the adventure that we are naturally and humanly ill-fitted to take on: it hurts, it bleeds, it sucks at times. But oh, the end will be glorious! Ah, I have the façade of reluctance, but oh, the joy of hoping for something we can’t see! So I don’t know when will I wipe the dust off my sandals, but that will be soon. We know where we are headed, but not where we will end…like the wind, we seem to be. And like that clock that moves on its own, that is time –God’s time, in the adventure of our lives. The LORD called to Moses and spoke to him from the Tent of Meeting. He said, “Speak to the Israelites and say to them: ‘When any of you brings an offering to the LORD, bring as your offering an animal from either the herd or the flock.” (Leviticus 1:1,2, NIV) (I’ll speak of two different –yet similar- sacrifices that were also given at the Temple: the grain offerings and the fellowship offerings. Both grain and fellowship offerings were made for worship, devotion, the reminder of God’s provision and common sharing between the community.) When someone brings a grain offering to the LORD… (Leviticus 2:1a, NIV) Make an altar of earth for me and sacrifice on it your burnt offerings and fellowship offerings, your sheep and goats and your cattle. Wherever I cause my name to be honored, I will come to you and bless you. (Exodus 20:24, NIV)
Can I go full-Gospel at you? For He worries when I can’t cope, dream, or hope. I hope that returning won’t etch a bigger storm on my pocket. I wish that returning breaks me off of many bad habits, but it doesn’t erase my likes to blandness. What if returning kick-starts all my biases and my fears, all my overlays, over again? If the most abhorrent indecision overtakes me, where will I run up to?
So We’re going back. And I don’t’ know how many years will it take for me to go back. Call me an exagerao –or at least an idiot-, but there are many things that I wish to know. Maybe God is not willing for me to know about them. However, if I know how even the date of His return, then what is the point of expectation? If I know at these moments when will we return, life is going to stop for me. My focus wouldn’t be on God, but on the dates (like I’m doing right now). Well, there are some things that can’t be revealed to man.
I guess it’s a pride thing. It’s the pride of knowing more than anyone (yet knowing nothing at all), or having more than anyone (yet having nothing at all). Experiences, are subjective; then again, why do I fear returning back to Ceiba? I don’t want to live a mundance, mediocre life.
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