So about three thousand went up; but they were routed by the men of Ai, who killed about thirty-six of them. They chased the Israelites from the city gate as far as the stone quarries and struck them down on the slopes. At this the hearts of the people melted in fear and became like water. –Joshua 7:4 & 5, NIV
I recognize that I have failed on areas that I should’ve never failed. (Oh, boy, are you ready for a lament!) I recognize that many things happen because I have quarreled with my own strengths, not with the strengths God has given me. It’s hard to depend on Something I can’t see…Yes, yes it is.
No, I don’t want pity. No, I don’t want half-hearted consolation, nor another effortless rebuke of any kind. Let God rebuke me on His own…if He pleases to rebuke me. For now, this has forced me to retreat and think…yet again. (Don’t wanna sound rude, but do I have to tell you what’s going on?)
But don’t worry; I still have some heart. Who told you man has to stay weeping all their life? He hasn’t left my side, that I can rest assured. Can I see Him now? Maybe not as much as I think in this present edition, but I know that sooner or later, I will shine His glory farther than I have ever shined.
So that battle is not lost…yet.
After all this, LORD, will you hold yourself back? Will you keep silent and punish us beyond measure? –Isaiah 64:12, NIV