But, what about my friends? Teachers? “Enemies”? The confraternity youth club that God let me open to the school again? (I was to lead this until I graduate on May 2011.) Looking up the door meant sadness, the sacrifice of going where God wanted me –nay, my family- to the evermore, into a place we have never known. Maybe like Abraham?
God’s words were true in John 21:18, when Jesus spoke to Peter:
…“I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” (John 21:18, emphasis mine)
Straddling with the concept of surrender is very, very hard to deal with, especially on a culture where “self” is glorified (I know, I’m guilty of it.). Some times, we’re just going to have to chip off the “self” part (and I’ll work on that!) and say, “I can’t do this on my own!” to the Lord who’s watching, because we realize that everything is subject to His will, and everything has time in place. And that we still make choices, but we abide them by Him.
Sooner or later, we’ll be too old, injured, sick or crazy to take care of ourselves. Our family will have to be in charge of us, and many more aspect of our own lives. Same thing here: sooner or later, we’ll not head our lives over ourselves, but God will head them for us. Giving up that will doesn’t need to be a crazy, amped-up experience (sometimes, it is ), but it’s also a life-long process; a surrender for life.
Be it at school, home, church, or daily life… Jesus is the only One who leads me. And I’m proud of that.