I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. (Romans 7:19, NIV)
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8, NIV)
A few hours ago, however, some words that I said to God still haunt me: “I can’t love You”. I don’t know why I said that or thought about that. Allow me to explain: I can’t love God in my sinful condition. I know that God loves me, but how can I love Him? After all, we can’t love the Lord if He does not wish to open our eyes and show His love for us. I felt that maybe I was rejecting Him. This is the time I’m punishing myself for being that stupid! How can’t I love God if He loved me first?
Where am I failing? Is my love growing cold? Right now, I’m tired and writing up something while hearing music and finding a lotion for my aching heart. Moments like these I hate deeply; the make me seem frail and weekly and divided by myself. But moments like these make me realize that simple truth: I can’t love God without Him showing love. And He does-every day of my life!
Simple doubt can ruin a moment, a day and even a whole life! But Jesus has come to restore and put everything back in its order again. Was I ready for His ways? No! Who isn’t! But was I ready to love Him- even less!
But I am willing to overcome that. I will love God with all I have, because of not only what I have today, but where I will rest tomorrow…maybe, in His arms of Heaven.