And do this, understanding the present time. The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. (Romans 13:11, NIV)
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As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions I’ve read from my uncle’s Quest Bible that the Bible is a love story. More than a novel, it is the most interesting story mankind has seen. God, knowing how people were afar from his love, sent His only Son, and He decided to put all the world’s sins upon Him. From the beginning of the Earth, God has aptly put a mark on the history, and nothing happens without His will in touch. This is love. Pure love. He has also considered not only forgiving our sins and throwing us as the east is from the west, but He also restored us fellowship for His throne. We are not worthy of saying, “I love You, Lord”, not one bit. But He overlooked us, and decided to spare us from the incoming wrath. “I love You” is the only thing we can say. All this week, I’ve focused on human weakness and the overcoming love of God. More than what I expected, love is never left out from our weaknesses. There is one thing that I have considered: did I said “I love You” to God lately? This part makes me confused. Again, internet hasn’t resolved much in searching how exactly do we love God, if there are any requirements. One article that I remember put up that loving God is keeping His commandments. It’s not pointless, in fact, it’s true; however, this also strains me to guilt, for the fact that I need to keep doing His commandments to show that I love Him. Also, my mind is not helping. “I love You” can become an “I hate You”! This is becoming annoying! Thus, I overshadowed saying a simple three-letter phrase, because I needed to say it from the heart so that it could count. Until today in the wee hours of the night. After we watched Muriel’s Wedding (great movie!), we watched a bit of the Golden Girls (great show!), but I was feeling sleepy since 10. I decided to go to bed, but my sister woke me up with a prank of hers. Although I felt distressed, I pulled up and moved to my uncle’s bed (my sister sleeps in there, he’s still in the hospital) with my new favorite white sheet. Before falling asleep like a rock, this pondering thought made my mind somehow. Was I cold to His love, just because I was intimidated to say “I love You”? (Until recently, it’s rare for me to write long posts.) I woke up this morning, and this thought of three simple words is still hovering over the brain. Is God really working out my fear for loving without being self-conscious? I think. With three simple words… “I…Love…You…” I repeated some short, uncountable times. Though God wants more than sacrifices, He wants us to see the bounty of love he has for us. I guess I should put these words up in my “Mamu-vernacular!” I love You, Lord, and I shout it to the Heavens! Yesterday, I talked about how the cross not only defines who we are, or what we are, but what we aren’t or can’t do: give our lives for all humankind. That was in Jesus’ job. Today, it is different: He is Lord! “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. (Matthew 28:5-6, NIV) “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” (Matthew 6:25, 27) I’ve never straddled with the concept of surrender more than now. Especially to give up everything I have to God: my attitude, annoying habits, my constant stupid remarks, my pushy connections… WHOA! As you know, we’ll never finish our lists of things we have to change (especially our own!) How do I give surrender to the God whom I accepted when He came to my life back in December 9, 2007? How can I say, “Lord, I will stop all I am, for you”? How comfortable will it be to not give up piece by piece of what I am, if He wants it all? Will that be enough? Now I find an exhilarating response: my self-consciousness will never win me a “most penitent” crown in Heaven. That surrender I always looked on as a requirement for a successful Christian life was already done… on the cross! All that I have to do is… believe! No Hell can have my heart; I’m already Jesus’ best friend. That surrender that I couldn’t understand began with that profession of love: “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” (Luke 23:46) Father and Son showed their completeness on that day. And you can have that privilege, too. With the reality that my dad has now reached Annapolis, I certainly know that my days in Puerto Rico are counted. We still don’t know when we are leaving, but it must be sometime soon. But leaving Puerto Rico leaves a new order in my dreams, goals, and perceptions. God’s waiting has let me know his love and grace.
The thought of leaving is not the only thing running down my mind. I have never expected to become a… missionary!? On my school, AND my own computer!? “See now that I myself am He! There is no god besides me. I put to death and I bring to life, I have wounded and I will heal, and no one can deliver out of my hand.” (Deuteronomy 32:29) In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed. In your strength you will guide them to your holy dwelling. (Exodus 15:13) |
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